Back-to-School Transitions: Supporting Our Children and Ourselves Through the Return to Routine

As summer comes to an end and backpacks, lunchboxes, and earlier bedtimes return, many families are navigating one of the biggest transitions of the year…going back to school.

As both a therapist and a mom, I know this transition is rarely just about getting children out the door on time. A new school year can bring excitement, worry, exhaustion, and a little chaos for children and parents.

As a board member of Childhood Matters, both my clinical work and community involvement remind me that supporting children also means supporting the adults who care for them.

The goal is not a perfect transition. It is finding ways to help everyone feel more supported, connected, and grounded. Here are a few helpful tips to try as your family settles into the new school year.

1. Expect a Period of Adjustment

Transitions can show up differently for every child. You may notice more emotions, clinginess, irritability, resistance, or difficulty with sleep and routines.

Before assuming your child is being difficult, pause and ask: “Could they be having a hard time?”

Try to:

• Keep expectations realistic during the first few weeks.

• Give reminders and extra transition time when possible.

• Notice patterns rather than reacting to every difficult moment.

• Remember that behavior is often communication.

Children are not the only ones adjusting. Parents are managing new schedules, school communication, activities, and work demands, too. Give yourself time to adjust as well.

2. Try Connection Before Correction

When children are overwhelmed, they often need help regulating before they can problem-solve.

Try:

• Getting down to your child's level.

• Lowering your voice rather than raising it.

• Taking a breath before responding.

• Offering a hug or simply sitting nearby.

• Naming what you notice: “You seem really overwhelmed right now.”

Simple phrases can help children feel supported:

“This feels hard.”“I’m here with you.”“Let’s take a breath together.”“We can figure this out.”

You do not have to fix every feeling. Your calm presence can be enough.

3. Build Small, Predictable Routines

Children often feel safer when they know what to expect. Start small rather than trying to create the perfect routine.

Consider:

• Preparing clothes and backpacks the night before.

• Creating a simple morning routine.

• Using a visual schedule for younger children.

• Building in a few minutes of connection before school.

• Creating a decompression period after school.

Many children work hard to regulate throughout the school day and may release those emotions at home. Before jumping into homework or activities, try offering a snack, movement, play, quiet time, or connection.

Sometimes a little decompression can make the rest of the afternoon go more smoothly.

4. Check in With Yourself. 

Co-regulation is easier when we are not completely depleted. Parents do not need more pressure to “do self-care perfectly.” Instead, try finding small moments to reset.

This might look like:

• Taking three slow breaths before responding.

• Stepping outside for a few minutes.

• Asking for help.

• Taking a short walk.

• Lowering expectations on a particularly busy day.

• Repairing after a hard moment instead of expecting perfection.

You will have mornings that feel rushed and frustrating. You may lose patience. That does not mean you are failing.

Parenting is not about getting every moment right. It is about reconnecting, repairing, and continuing to show up.

5. Don't Wait Until Things Feel Unmanageable

One of the most important messages we promote through early intervention is that families do not need to wait for a crisis before seeking support. If changes in your child's emotions or behavior are persistent, interfering with daily life, or leaving your family feeling overwhelmed, reaching out for guidance can be helpful.

Support might include therapy, parent consultation, school collaboration, or connecting with community resources. Sometimes parents simply need a space to better understand what their child is communicating and identify practical next steps.

As a community, we can continue to normalize asking for support. Caring for children's mental health is not something we should wait to prioritize. I believe strongly in the power of early support, parent education, and community connection. Children do best when the adults around them feel supported and parents do not have to navigate challenging seasons alone.

The back-to-school transition may not always be smooth, but small moments of connection, predictable routines, and support can make a meaningful difference.

Wishing our community a gentle, connected, and compassionate start to the school year.

If your family is navigating challenges with transitions, anxiety, emotional regulation, behavior, or family connection, support is available. Whether through therapy, parent guidance, or early intervention resources, reaching out can be a meaningful first step.

You do not have to have everything figured out to ask for support.

Megan Fehte, LMFT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, parent, and board member of Childhood Matters, a nonprofit dedicated to early intervention and expanding access to mental health support for children and families. With more than 10 years of experience working with children, adolescents, young adults, and families, Megan specializes in supporting emotional development, anxiety, life transitions, parent-child connection, and social-emotional growth.

Her approach is warm, collaborative, and relationship-based, with a strong belief that children thrive when the adults supporting them feel informed, connected, and empowered. In addition to providing therapy, Megan offers parent consultation and guidance to help families better understand their children's emotional and developmental needs.